Dear Hilo High Families,
In the spirit of our school motto, "Once a Viking...Always a Viking" and our commitment to supporting the well-being of our community throughout the year, we are sharing the following information and resources to help students and families who may be coping with grief and loss. Although every family’s experience is different, we hope these resources provide guidance, comfort, and support when they are needed most.
Children and young adults experience grief in different ways. Some may openly express their feelings, while others may become quieter or have difficulty identifying and communicating what they are experiencing. Reactions can vary widely and may change over time.
Common reactions may include:
- Increased irritability or mood changes
- Withdrawal from friends or activities
- Anxiety, sadness, or depression
- Difficulty concentrating or a decline in school performance
- Increased focus on the loss
- In some adolescents, increased risk-taking behaviors
It can be upsetting to see your child struggle. It is okay to show your own feelings, and doing so can help children understand that grief is a natural response to loss. Open conversations, reassurance, and maintaining routines can be especially helpful during this time.
How Families Can Help
- Encourage open and honest conversations.
- Listen without feeling pressured to have all the answers.
- Reassure children that their feelings are normal and valid.
- Maintain routines and structure whenever possible.
- Monitor social media use and exposure to rumors or misinformation.
- Seek additional support if concerns persist or intensify.
When to Seek Additional Help
While grief is a normal process, additional support may be helpful if a child or teen experiences:
- Persistent feelings of hopelessness or depression
- Significant changes in behavior or personality
- Ongoing difficulty functioning in daily activities
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Substance use or other unsafe coping behaviors
For additional guidance, the following resources may be useful:
- Supporting Your Child After the Death of a Family Member or Friend: Link to Resource
- After a Loved One Dies: How Children Grieve and How Adults Can Support Them: Link to Resource
Summer supports available at school: Our counseling team is available to support students as needed. Please feel free to contact them if you have concerns or would like to discuss support options for your child:
- Kellie Frias – 808-313-5534
- Mary Jane Tominaga – 808-313-5517
- Kristin Aiona – 808-313-5525
Additional community supports may include:
- Your child’s primary care physician or pediatrician
- Your health insurance provider
- Hawaiʻi Care Choices Bereavement Care Services: 808-969-1733 hawaiicarechoices.org/bereavement-care
- Faith-based leaders or organizations, if applicable
If you or your child are in crisis:
- Crisis Line of Hawaiʻi: 1-800-753-6879 or 988
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (or 1-800-273-8255)
- Crisis Text Line: Text ALOHA to 741741
Please remember that grief has no timeline. Patience, compassion, and connection can make a meaningful difference as children and teens navigate difficult emotions and experiences.
We wish you and your family a safe and restful summer.
Adrian De Mello
Principal